My engine is dead.

I feel like I'm on the island of "LOST".

I know there are "others" out there but I'm just not sure where.

They are not blogging.

They are not commenting.

But I know they are there.

Come on people. Christmas is over. Get back into your blogging pants and give me something to read for Pete's sake. Who's Pete? Anybody know?

Sheesh!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need to update mine too.....shut your whiners and keep reading..... keep reading, already!

O.k., so not a chance in heck will this be a Christmas post. Are you kidding? Those pictures are still on the memory card that is still in the camera that is still in the suitcase that is still not unpacked. Bah Humbug.

My nephew Ryder is with me this week while his family is at home..wink wink....(whisper: but really they are in Colorado and didn't think whiny britches was ready for his first ski trip). So, needless to say he and the girls are having a blast. Since Ryder has an older sister, Mattie, he fits in like a charm over here in girly land. In fact, he is fitting in a little too well according to his dad. Should we be concerned that he knows more words to Hannah Montana hits than Mia?

Nah....

I had great plans of hitting the floor flying when we got back from my parents on Saturday but instead I hit the floor, fell into a coma, and am now regretting that I just now came out of that coma. In my defense, I am sick. Not only am I sick in the head, I have some upper respiratory stuff going on and my body is telling me to sit still and rest all the while my head is telling me get up and get going you lazy piece of trash!

Can't you just see it....a white nurse angel on one shoulder.....fly lady dressed in red on the other......each whispering in one ear....

Yeah, I'm totally sick in the head. Do I have a fever? Are these hallucinations instead of imagination?

Well, nurse angel won for two days and now I have to snap out of it regardless of how I feel.

O.k., not tonight....

Who do you think I am? Wonder Woman?

It will have to start in the morning. Right now, I just see visions of my head on my pillow and possibly some snoring in the background. That's when you know you are really sleeping good. Well, somebody will know, maybe not you. Or does that mean you are about to die because you are too fat and your neck fat is crowding your esophagus? Wow, haven't used that term since biology 101 in high school. Go Stangs!

Either way, I think you get the picture. It ain't happening tonight. No way. No how. Nuh-uh.

I think there is a hole in my eardrum. Would that hurt if I really did? Seriously, something is going on in my left ear. Something not right. When I sniff it's like the air goes out of my ear. Stop laughing. I think I could hold a candle up to my left ear and blow it out by sniffing really hard.

I'll just put it on my list of things to discuss with my doctor. He's use to me by now. I go to the doctor like I go to the grocery store. List in hand. I figure....knock it all out in one trip. He usually looks at me like the check out girl looks at the lady with the envelope full of coupons....'here we go again'.

Oh, I will tell you one thing. I got an iPod Touch from Levi for Christmas. I didn't even know one existed until I opened it up the night before Christmas Eve. I told Levi I either wanted an iPod shuffle or a digital planner. Of course, I knew nothing about either but Levi is all into that stuff so I trusted him to pick something out. Well, the iPod Touch is an ipod and a planner and like SO much more.

It's does everything the iPhone does except the phone part. It rocks. Put it this way....I am 75% cooler now that I have this. I actually had a conversation with a guy at Best Buy about it and made some sense. Not much, but some.

So far, the only thing I've done successfully is to reach level 3 on Yhatzee Adventures. Oh, yeah.
I played Yhatzee 'till my eyes dried out so much I couldn't blink without a couple squirts of WD-40.

I'm leaving myself with some motivational pictures to look at in the morning when I get up and white nurse angel whispers in my ear to hop back in that warm bed, kick my feet up, and restore my health. These pictures were actually from that week that I posted how I felt like I was getting nowhere but working so hard to get there. I just got going each day and tried to stay positive. Well, on that Friday, the heavens opened up and the angels busted out Mary Mary's "Shackles" just for me.

All that hard work paid off. Here is my little home all nice and clean:

Please excuse the odd arrangements of items on and hanging from the fireplace. Mia did it.


No hot spot here!


Is that chicken thawing in the sink? Somebody not only had a clean kitchen but had dinner on the brain!


I love the blue orange and brown color combo. It makes me smile. I learned two things from Mrs. Morgan the art teacher: #1 I memorized the color wheel thus making handy those complimentary colors and #2 she was the best teacher ever b/c she gave me pretend swats in Mr. Fite's office and hit the desk instead of my rear to get me out of 3 days of detention given to me by non other than Renita Schroeder. Why? Well, we were working in the green house and she decided to go run some errands around the school. I needed to go potty. I, just as we always were allowed to do, went to the back of the shop to go potty. On my way back through the classroom (to get to the green house) she came in the door. Not only was I in the room but so was 3 or 4 other girls skipping the greenhouse work and chillin' inside instead. Despite my efforts to explain she yelled, hollered, screamed, and made veins pop out of her face and gave everyone within a 10 mile radius 3 days of detention. In our school you could trade detention for swats so I chose "swats". Poor desk. Thanks Mrs. Morgan!



Are those vacuum tracks? No, really, are they? It's been a while since I saw what they looked like and it's been even longer since I knew what the actual carpet in my closet looked like.


Wait! Who stole all our clothes? That is the only place they've been in like 3 months so I know they got stolen. Where else could they have gone? Oh, yeah! I did the laundry, took it out of the dryer, folded it AND...wait for it....wait for it.....PUT IT UP! Here's where the balloons and confetti should come fluttering to the ground over my head. But it's not. But it should.


Just look at that faux marble floor gleam. Um, o.k., it doesn't gleam...it glares hideously into the camera lens.



And what do I get in return? A great Friday night full of marshmallow roasting and Christmas movie watching and enjoying our clean environment. Oh, and not breaking an ankle or toe from tripping over all of the crap.

Hope you enjoyed the tour of my straight out of an Ikea catalog home! Oh, and it all went to hell on a horse drawn sleigh during the holidays so I'm back to the grind in the morning.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

This is one of the most anticipated days of the year.

Put up the Christmas tree day.

I think it deserves a better name than that but it's midnight and we just got home from Branson so that will have to do. Which, by the way, I have some great pictures and narrative about our trip so stay tuned.

It happened the Saturday after Thanksgiving but I'm just now getting around to it.

Here's how it goes down:

Levi yanks everything out of the storage closet and hurls it across the living room while I yell at him to be gentle and stop throwing the boxes across the apartment.

He still throws and yanks and I yell some more. The girls run for cover and hope to goodness that all is still intact enough to proceed with the festivities.

I know that's a rough start to such an anticipated day but, you know me, I'm going to give it to you straight. No candy coating. No sugar on top. It's the real deal here.

Whew. After I check the boxes all seems to be well with only minor casualties and we begin with setting up the tree. That's really Levi's job and the girls "help" him while I prepare the food.

Well, "food" is a bit of a stretch. On this night, we don't really have dinner. We have junk food.

O.k., I'm lying. It's not only "this night" that we have junk food for dinner...that happens probably once or twice a week. So there. Sue me.

And by junk food I mean mystery cheese dip. Yeah, Velveeta and Rotel. Oh, so familiar, huh? I grew up thinking this was special. Thinking that mom splurged on the good stuff...the expensive cheese. Thinking that rich people ate this all the time and we got to live it up every now and then with this yellow gooey glob of goodness.

Well, now that I'm older and wiser I now realize that all of the above is a crock. A sham. While I thought we were being given a treat, turns out we were practically poisoned with this non-refrigerated, highly processed, 90% preservative 10% cheese "stuff", gelatinous, jiggly, perfectly shaped, rectangular, yellow block of heart attack.

Thanks mom.

Special times.

You see, growing up, my family carried on this same tradition that I'm about detail to you in photographs.

We got to lay a sheet out and eat on the floor in the living room while watching Christmas shows that were most likely played on cable TV b/c I don't think we ever owned one single VHS tape. If we had one it was borrowed and never returned or some sort of church program that I wish were never documented at all.

So, we ate chips and dip and decorated the tree and then had cookies.

Mom's specialty.

She was so good at getting that tube of cookie dough out of the fridge, taking that knife with a good strong grip and slicing those cookies to perfection. Then, she would over cook them and we would eat them as quickly as possible before they turned into slice and petrified cookies.

Which incidentally is why I now love love love me a crunchy cookie. And, slice and bake is my all time favorite chocolate chip cookie.

See, it doesn't matter if you home-make everything ladies...your children will adapt.

We would sort of munch and decorate and munch and decorate until all was done. I most likely was never happy with #1 the tree we cut down at the tree farm or #2 the way the tree was decorated or #3 anything.

I was a bit difficult.

Just a wee bit.

So, here I am, doing all of this with my family and loving it.

We always watch the old Rudolph show first, then Mickey's Christmas carol and then Levi and I watch Elf after the girls go to bed.

This picture seriously makes me laugh so hard. I was demanding, through my gritted toothed smile, that they all smile...keep smiling....smile......hold it...hold it......all the while Mia was about to choke to death. She was trying to smile......


O.k., that's better. After a little TLC, CPR, and the Heimlich we got the money shot. Oh, wait, Jules is looking up at what? Fairies? Your killing me over here!


The girls and our new pet which I so affectionately refer to as "dumb dog". They are holding up their pony ornaments from last year that they found in their stocking from Santa.


Levi and the girls assembling our fake tree. It's all good. I light a pine scented candle to fool my guests. I am certain it works every time. Yeah, with our $40 Garden Ridge special from 6 years ago.


It's tradition....we wrap ourselves in lights ever-so-safely. This is them getting situated.


Now we're ready!


What is it about boxes? I have these exact two photos from when Mia was 3....Oh, look! It's a Christmas tree box...hmmm...wonder what's in it? Couldn't be the tree b/c it's already up.......


It's Jules! A little creepy and coffin-like if you ask me but she played with it for a good long while just like her sister once did.


Always have to get the ornament hanging snap-shot.


Isn't she photogenic? I know, I know, I'm the mom...I have to think that....and I do!


I so hate my hair in all of these but what can I do about it now? I was so busy cleaning that day that I didn't even so much as take a gander at what I looked like before the events took place.


This is our first attempt at the ornament hanging shot. Mia, quit sticking your hiney out. Why are you doing that? Stop it.


Oh, was I doing that? I didn't know. O.k., let's try this again...


O.k., this is better but what's with the hand on the hip? We will not be entering these into the Miss America Pageant, so just lay off the posing. Kay?


Now, that's the shot I was looking for!


So cute I could just hang HER on the tree.


Star on top of the tree ceremony #1. Notice the paint job the maintenance people did while Levi and I were on vacation. Yeah, they fixed a crack in the wall. The wall where the paint is all gone from 6 years ago. Nice. It looks like I spray painted the corner white. BUT I didn't.


Star on top of the tree ceremony #2.


I love my sweet beautiful girls. Really, I think they are so pretty. I was so not pretty as a child. They are starting off WAY better than I did. Things started looking up for me around 7th grade and thus follows the decline.


Our happy Christmas family.

Vaca!

No....not as in spanish for cow....as in "Vay-cay" like valley girl vacation.

We are about to leave to join all of the elderly blue haired ladies and men in the wonderful town of Branson, MO!

We will mainly be hitting up Silver Dollar City and some MAD Christmas lights.

I haven't even packed the girls yet and we are leaving in like 30 minutes.

So, yeah, I gotta go. I have lots to blog about when I get back!

If not before....have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

p.s. Jules won the Guiness book of word record for singing jingle bells non-stop for 45 minutes while we tooled around in the car today. She stopped only to breathe.

I am not lying.

But I was about to shoot myself.

Last week one of Mia's dreams came true.

She got to be on stage.

The girl loves to be on stage. She once got on stage at a play she wasn't even in and was very confused as to why she wasn't the star.

....because, she IS the star.....according to her.

Was Mia Mary, you ask? Was she the angel?

Well, according to her mother, she would have made the most beautiful angel ever.

HOWEVER, she was a sheep.

Yep, her part was to get down on all fours and not move....or baaa....or nothin'.....the entire play.

It didn't matter to her for she was still on stage and in a costume and people were still looking at her, her, HER!

You'd think that being a sheep would go without incident.

But no.

It seems that the hood of her costume was made for Shaquille O'neal.

In this first picture you will see that it is not non her head at all:


I wish to high heaven that I had gotten a picture of what happened next, but I was too busy being a mom. She followed her teacher's hand motions to pull her hood up and when she did it fell over her face. So, she was sitting there with the hood covering her entire face. She tried to get it off of her face and couldn't. So, I, being the frantic mom was saying under my breathe (at first) help her! help her! She fiddled with it some more and got it up but it fell over again. Here's where I raised my voice a bit..somebody help her! I was just about to get up and go rescue my child from total humiliation when she finally got it up, but not exactly straight:

Can you see the irritation in her eyes?

Well, the play went on and she began to have more fun:


And in comes the rest of the cast and the crooked headed sheep doesn't look so thrilled nor does the donkey or horse:


This is basically what she looked like the entire play......adjusting her hood:


She finally couldn't wait anymore and gave me a wave.....


I got to go up afterwards and take a better picture of my sweet little sheep:


Gotta have a close up as this is the beginning of her "on-stage" career:


Looks like I have another stage stealer in the making:


And daddy was there too:


I would have videoed but I just couldn't justify 30 minutes of Mia on all fours so I opted for photos. She had a blast and we went to lunch with Levi afterwards at "Chicken-fa-lays".

It doesn't matter to me what she is doing....I watch her as if she's on broadway with pride beaming from my face, camera flashing frantically, and obnoxiously pointing her out to everyone within 10 feet of us (who incidentally are watching their own broadway star and have no interest in seeing mine).

Hope you enjoyed your weekend! Have a great Monday!

Learning to Fly.

It has been 1 week that I have been learning to "fly".

I have not yet so much as hovered.

I have the running start down real nice.

Then, I jump up in the air, flap my arms, kick my feet, and fall kersplat right into a big pile of laundry for a fairly soft landing.

Speaking of laundry....I started doing one load a day. I have resisted this for years and now I have succumb to it. "It" being laundry as a part of my every day life. Rolling my eyes.

I can remember my college years where I did laundry once every two weeks. Once every two weeks.....once every two weeks....once every two weeks......once every two....once every.....

CLAP-CLAP!

O.k., I'm back. Just reminiscing.

So, I was feeling a bit defeated, like the laundry won. But then, I walked into my pantry/laundry room and smiled when I realized that I had only one lone load of whites to do.

I still take the dirty clothes hamper from the bathroom, let Mia sort them into our sorter, and place the empty hamper back in the bathroom for refilling. I only wash whats in the sorter. So, I guess I still have that "done" feeling.

I start a load at night and first thing in the morning I put it on to dry. I fold it and put it up as a part of my morning routine. What's amazing about this is that this week when I needed to wash Penny's doggy blanket I just threw it in. That's it. No removing molded wet clothes from 3 days before only to then have to fluff the 4 day old clothes in the dryer first so I could take them out and fold them so I could put the moldy ones in the dryer. Nope. None of that nonsense...just threw it in and started it. It was quite nice.

So, I guess the laundry and I tied.

I also have been getting up at 6:00 am. I know to some this is not early but it's real early when you don't technically have to be anywhere until 9:00.

Getting up at 6 allows me ample time to complete my *morning routine, get myself ready, tend to Penny, get the girls ready, feed all of us, and iron for Levi.

Oh, wait, I need to make a correction. Ideally, I would like to get up at 6am. I have been setting my alarm for 5:50. However, the earliest I've been able to get up is 6:15...I'm getting there. I have visions of 6 am for next week. I see it in my future. It's in the forecast.

What is my morning routine?

So very glad you asked!

Get up.
Take Penny out to pee.
Take Synthroid and drink one full glass of water.
Transfer wet clothes to dryer.
Shower.
Get fully dressed and ready.
Take vitamins and anything else I need to take. (I can't take anything within one hour of taking Synthroid so it's a bit inconvenient but I'm dealing.)
5 minutes of timed internet time...check weather, e-mails, blogs, etc....
Bible Study.
2 minute hot spot cleaning (kitchen table)
Get the girls up.
Fix Mia's lunch and put in backpack.
Fix breakfast for the girls (I don't eat breakfast..I KNOW that's horrible...working on it)
Iron Levi's clothes
Turn tv off. (The girls get to watch 30 minutes of cartoons in the morning)
Assist the girls in getting dressed, fix hair, brush teeth
Have girls clean up any mess made..dishes, pj's, etc....
Have girls play with Penny from 8-8:30 while I fold and put up the load in the dryer, clean up kitchen, straighten bathroom, make my bed
8:30 off to school

I have learned that I am NOT GOOD FOR ANYTHING after 6:00. I do my best most productive work in the morning and afternoon.

Instead of fight this...I'm catering to it. I give the girls a bath around 5:00 and do most of my night time routing while they are taking a bath. Sounds silly but I just can't rely on myself at night. Since all of my Thyroid issues my energy level in the evening is almost non existent. It is as if I have an on off switch on a timer. It goes off around 6pm and reads "DONE".

So far, I have really only implemented the morning routine successfully. It's not perfect but it's growing on me. I will work on the night time routine next and then gradually begin the zone work and other things flylady implements on her website. This is my third or fourth attempt at becoming a flylady.

I think I can do it this time b/c I'm taking it super slow. I am only working on my morning routine and trying to just keep things picked up. It's quite nice to have had a clean kitchen all week long. My shiny sink practically radiates light.....it makes me smile :)

Here is a few words of wisdom from an almost 6 year stay at home mom: GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Give yourself a reason to leave the house. Library? Playgroup? Walk in the park? Whatever it is...put a time on it. It will make a huge difference in your day. It's very difficult to maintain any sort of routine when you basically have full reign over your entire day but at the same time have to keep up with and tend to the never ending needs of a little one.

You would not believe how GREAT it has been now that Mia is in kindergarten. Just that bit of regularity to my day and reason to get out has helped me out tremendously.

That might possibly be the only words of wisdom you will ever get from me. Let it soak in real good.

I have to brag on myself. Here is the reason I was up till 3am:

Birthday gift for Mia's kindergarten teacher.

First page after you open it.

Group Shot.


You can't tell, but the names are stuck on with dimensional pop-dots so they stick out a bit. I had each child tell me something they loved about their teacher and put what they said under their picture. It took way to long to get a picture of each child b/c of sickness, vacation, etc. I now know to give myself at least one month to catch everyone if I ever do this again.


I had the kids autograph this last page on the front and back with a silver paint pen.


I decided to add a tie closure to it. The cover of the book is made from corrugated cardboard. The embellishments are some pieces from one $3.99 chipboard sticker pack. All other supplies were from my craft closet. Pictures printed thanks to Anjolee. I drove Mckenzee over some ballet shoes to borrow and in exchange I bummed her super picture printer. Thanks for saving me a trip to hell...uh, Wal-mart.

Also, if this is something you'd like to do for your child's teacher but don't have the time or interest in doing it yourself you can get an AWESOME linen bound album with high quality printed picture pages at any of the following sites. The prices vary but some are unbelievably affordable.

mypublisher.com
picaboo.com
snapfish.com

Catherine...I can't think of the other one...if you read this, post the other site in the comments for me if you have time. Thanks!

And the Winners are:

First of all THANKS to all who played along! This was so fun for me. I wish I could give everyone a prize...really, I do! Oh, and some of you noticed I posted the contest at 2:30 am...yep, I was up making something for Mia's teacher and I will post that next. I decided to go ahead and post the contest so that the early birds could have a chance to win. If you didn't participate I suggest you participate next time...I have some fab ideas for prizes!


WINNER: 1st Person to E-mail me: Anjolee Roberts! Looks like they ate well the night before.......


Because she is such a devoted follower of my blog she wins the Paisley Package! A brand new Stampin' Up! Paisley stamp set, Paisley chipboard sticker pack, pieces from my scrap ribbon pile that match the chip board PERFECTLY in blue and pink ric-rac and wide gross-grain paisley print!


WINNER: Dirtiest Sink: Stephanie Britt! Well, Steph, no need to play the family card....you won this one fair and square... ha!


AND b/c you may need a little boost of motivation to your cleaning routine....you win the super duper Klip Kitchen timer featured on the Container Store website that goes with you anywhere and is magnetic so it can be stored on the fridge! This is the very timer I'm getting myself to get me moving and grooving on those hotspots. Put it to good use, girl!


WINNER: Cleanest Sink: Jill Yeager! Really? Jill? You rock! So, did we have spaghetti for dinner or hamburgers? You are super flyin' b/c you already had dinner on the brain!


Because your home seems to be company ready at the drop of a hat, what better gift than this Welcome sign handmade by me just for you! It is made using the Uppercase transfers I featured a couple of weeks ago. I painted a black board with antique white paint, scuffed it up with sand paper, drilled holes in the top, stuck the transfer on, tied some knots in the ribbon and poof!


I just LOVE blogs! Why did I have a give away? Well, I saw other people doing it on their blogs and I'm a copy cat. AND it's CHRISTMAS TIME! Why not!

Didn't win? No worries! I will for sure do another give away so keep tuning in....you never know what I may find in my craft closet......

***If you were a winner...e-mail me your address...yes, even you Steph...to ikeachair@yahoo.com.