Little Life Lessons.

I made up my mind two years ago that one thing I would never buy from our school again are these things called "Y Ties".  They are curly shoe laces that take the place of tying your shoes at all.  Get it?  "Y Tie" when you have Y Ties?  Except they are super tight curly laces with hardly any give to them.

I failed to realize that I was making that decision before Jules was an official member of the school and before the school had a chance to shamelessly brain wash her by means of an advertising video in PE.

Awesome.

The thing is...they don't really work great.  They kinda sorta work but not really.  Mia and I knew this and therefore when the flyer+comic-book+sticker+envelope for a deal with the devil came in her folder on Tuesday we scoffed at it and recollected how horrible they were. We talked about how difficult they were to put in and how she couldn't even get her foot in her shoe.  When she actually did get her foot in her shoe she couldn't feel her foot after 5 minutes because it was cutting the circulation off.

Now, some people have better success with these things but not us.  We talked about how we were NOT going to be suckers this time.  No way.  Not us. 

All paperwork was thrown in the trash and I thought that was the end of that.

Enter Jules yesterday fresh out of PE and with the video on her mind.

She apparently was not present during our conversation on how stupid Y-Ties were the day before.  As soon as she walked out of school she began listing her selling points pretty much verbatim (I can only assume) from the brain washing video.  She neeeeeded them.  She waaaaaanted them.  They were going to be AWESOME.  AND...they're only FOUR dollars. 

Some of you know she is a pamphlet, brochure, business card stealing/hoarding kind of girl so the mini brochure with the vast array of color options (which included pink-camo...nice touch marketing department) was just too much for her to handle.   She slept with that brochure under her pillow. 

The next morning (this very morning) she woke up mumbling Y-Tie jargon mingled with begging and pleading.  I tried to plead my case with her.  Mia tried as well.

So the tears started falling.  Right before school, of course.   As much as I wanted to lay down the law and refuse I began to think about how much Mia wanted those things just as bad as Jules when she was in the first grade.  She was just as amped and brainwashed about them and sometimes life's lessons just need to be learned instead of taught.

I, however, could not in good conscience spend my own money on such a scam.  I told Jules she could buy them with her own money.  Unfortunately, she didn't have any money so I made a list of chores she had to agree to do and I would in turn buy the pink and purple sparkly pieces of junk.  

She got started right away and washed all my kitchen cabinet doors and drawers and helped put away the laundry.  She is not finished, though and I am kind of excited about how good the grout will look when she's done cleaning it with a toothbrush and warm soapy water.  Kind of like Cinderella except there will be no beautiful sparkling dress or prince charming in the end.  Just crappy Y-ties.

Today after school she runs out exclaiming how we don't even have to ORDER them.  They will be available at the school this evening for a reading event.  This made my eye twitch I think.

We get to the school and right there at the front was the table of the God bless-ed Y-Ties.   Her eyes grew large and she did not hesitate to blurt her order out.  THEN, her traitor sister blurted out that she really wanted the pink and silver ones.  What the what?   How COULD she?  Right there in front of her sister and everyone.  I will never let her live it down.  NEVER.  She said she thought it was a cute idea to put them in her hair.  Whatever.  Don't talk to me.

We finish up the night almost losing one of the stupid things and using those shameless video brainwashing sales tactics on other innocent children...waiving the Y-Ties in their faces saying they neeeeeeeded them too.

Her time was coming.  It was so coming.

We get home and first thing she digs out her tennis shoes and asks me to replace her laces with the devil strings.  I did.  But in a very grumpy sort of way, cursing them under my breath. 

Finally her moment came.  She was filled with such excitement and hope.  I was giddy waiting for her dreams to be dashed and waiting for my "I told you so" moment to come.

Watching her work up a sweat trying to get those things on was pure comic gold.  She was sweating, biting her lip, grunting, pausing, pulling and tugging.  I smiled and asked her what was wrong.

She said she just needed to get her foot in the shoe first and then lace them up.  That's what was wrong.   Riiiight.  Because unlacing and lacing curly impossible devil strings was a logical and practical way to get your shoes on every morning.  That must be what's wrong.

She finally gets her shoes on and it was like she won a wrestling match with a crocodile.   So as to not have to wrestle any more crocodiles in the morning she thought it was best to sleep with her shoes on.

As if I was not already completely not wanting to cooperate with the Y Tye shoe stringing already she then asked me to put them in her hair.  I must have growled at her and my eyes may have gleamed red because she quickly said "Nevermind!" and ran away to bed.

It was in that bed that she decided to take the purple Y-Ties out that I had JUST labored over so she could see what the pink ones looked like except she couldn't get the pink ones in and if I could just put the pink ones in......

This made my other eye twitch.

I am pretty sure no lessons were learned here.  I am out $12.  Jules is in bed with a brochure, two  shoes with no laces of any kind and weird curly devil strings under her pillow.   This will make getting ready in the morning spectacular.

So if any lesson could be learned it could be that Jules is a master negotiator and swindler, her sister is a no-good traitor, and I am an idiot.  That about sums it up.